daily life

I just feel so alone like no one understands how i feel or takes it seriously... I am sitting alone in my bedroom wishing i could be 20 pounds thinner.... which would be normal if i wasnt already "skinny" to the worlds opinion... but in my eyes im a 300lbs girl who is ugly, pathetic and worthless... some days it isnt as bad and most of the time i can hide it but i hate feeling like im forced to eat... so im starting a fast but i will drink zero calorie beverages and sugar free jello i really need to lose weight again because i miss my hip bones and i dont want to be able to grab a fist full of my stomach.....