Crayon lipsticks

so i know this is not what i normaly write about and im sorry if that bothers some of you but considering i have only 2 followers at the moment im sure no one gives a fuck about my blog.. and on that note im going to start writing...


So I'm making lipstick out of crayons for the first time this coming monday

I made 24 colors and so far have worn 4 of them! they turned out pretty good not going to lie!
 

Me

I feel like complete shit right now... so this is just going to be me expressing how i feel about myself so you OK here we go...

I am a complete fucking waste of space!!!!!!!! There is no point for me on this planet at all like I'm just ugly and fat and unattractive and sad like who would want to hit on a girl like that!! I should just save everyone the trouble and end it all now because I'm sure I've done more bad than good on this planet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm never going to reach my skinny goal and I'm never going to be loved. I'm just a stupid, pathetic, ugly, fat, hopeless waste of space!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me get that out.... i thought it would help but it didnt..... well alright.... oh and also im getting a tumblr maybe

June 27th

i feel pretty decent today I'm water fasting so since around 11:00pm last night i have only consumed 10 kcal i hope to keep it this way for a couple days because my fatass body needs to be in a bathing suit Monday because my family is going on vacation....... YEAHHHH (NOT).  so i weighed myself today at  like 11:30 am and i have lost weight!!!! i was at like 127lbs and when i got on the scale today i was 122-121lbs its hard to tell my actual weight because i do not have a digital scale :'( but i will get one eventually!!!!

daily life

I just feel so alone like no one understands how i feel or takes it seriously... I am sitting alone in my bedroom wishing i could be 20 pounds thinner.... which would be normal if i wasnt already "skinny" to the worlds opinion... but in my eyes im a 300lbs girl who is ugly, pathetic and worthless... some days it isnt as bad and most of the time i can hide it but i hate feeling like im forced to eat... so im starting a fast but i will drink zero calorie beverages and sugar free jello i really need to lose weight again because i miss my hip bones and i dont want to be able to grab a fist full of my stomach.....

Trouble with BINGES?!?!

OK I know how it is you get a craving for one thing and before you know it the whole kitchen is empty, I don't know the cure to this but I do have a couple tricks that are sure to help!!

THE TIPS!!!
1.) learn to do crafts like knit or crochet or make friendship bracelets something that keeps your hands preoccupied so you cant stuff your face.
2.) look up thinspo or fitspo which ever is your favorite to see and this may remind yourself that its NOT worth it.
3.) DONT and i repeat DONT keep food in your room
4.) only eat when your around people. yes i know i too feel awkward eating around people but is this feeling that will slow down your eating or stop you entirely.
5.)lock yourself in your room and do something (like turn on the music and dance around or work out this will help the craving feeling to go away)
6.) if all else fails undress and stand in front of a mirror if your like me its not a fun feeling and usually helps snap you out of the wanting to eat thing

But remember if you are craving and it doesn't go away its your body telling you somethings not right. you make have to go up in calorie intake or slow down the speed at which your reduce. Well i hope this is helpful and GOOD LUCK <3

THE GOALS!!!

so my goals are pretty simple... doubt i will ever reach them because im huge but whatever
HW:127lbs
LW:111lbs
CW:120lbs
GW1:115lbs
GW2:110lbs
GW3:105lbs
GW4:100lbs
UGW:98lbs

I will keep you updated as to how my Journey goes <3

oh and hopefully i can get my own computer so it will be easier to post :)

How I look NOW (AKA FATTT!!)

How i look at the current state....

Pinch TWO inches (HUGE)

NO RIBS!!! NO HIPS!!

PREGO maybe?!?!?!?!

NOOOOOO GAP :/

I Look Like A Guy!! Where IS THE FLAT STOMACH (im not sexy....)

well lets hope some improvement comes because i need THIN, I HAVE TO BE THIN, SEXY, PERFECT